Every Now and Then
by Amanda M. Daugherty
Summary: Harm thinks of someone every now and then


Title: Every Now and Then  
Author: Amanda M. Daugherty  
E-mail: country_girl_2003@yahoo.com  
Rating:   
Classification:  
Spoilers:  
Summary:  
  
Disclaimers: Don't own JAG.  
  
  
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"I walked down to the park last night  
Warm breeze stirring up a soft moonlight  
And my mind started drifting way back when  
Yes I do think about you every now and then"  
  
I ran into a couple of old friends of ours the other day at some big military function and we had a great time. Laughing and talking about all the old times. Back to the days when we were younger and didn't have a care in the world, when we didn't have families or people waiting at home for us. The entire gang was there and for a minute I was transported back to that time. I could almost smell your perfume as I laughed and joked about how boring my life is now, the way we used to make fun of people who had lives like this. I now have the house with the white picket fence, dog in the front yard with kids running around. Yep, that's my life now. Just the way I want it.   
  
"the other day I saw a car like you used to drive  
I got a funny feeling down deep inside  
And for the briefest moment I felt a smile begin  
Yes I do think about you every now and then"  
  
Sometime during the night during all the dancing and socializing we got on the subject of you and how you disappeared from our lives all of a sudden. Almost like you never existed, yet you impacted all of our lives more than you could imagine. Someone asked me if I ever thought about you. I thought about it for a minute. My wife was standing right by my side. I didn't know whether to lie about the relationship we had and say that I never think about you at all, but then I realized that I had nothing to hide from this woman that I expected to spend the rest of my life with. She knew about our relationship and about how much you meant to my life. So I flatly said yes I do think about you every now and then. I think about you a lot.  
  
"I love my life and I'd never trade   
Between what you and me had and the life I've made  
She's here and she's real, but you were too  
And every once in awhil I think about you"  
  
I truly loved you so how could I not think about you. I remember that summer we went to my parents cabin up in Maine and didn't tell anyone where we were going because we were afraid of what our CO would say when he found out. We spent all week wrapped up in a blanket roasting in front of the large fire. I can still see the laughter in your eyes as I played around and made shadow puppets on the walls. Or the way we always took those softball games way to seriously and everyone would laugh as we fought it out. I miss those times a lot. I took a stroll through the park the other day. That same park where we would go running and my mind drifted back to you. And sometimes when I see a car that looks like the kind you used to drive I remember how much work I always had to do on it for you. Like the brakes, spark plugs or how I always had to give you a ride to work because your car was always in the shop.   
  
  
"I heard a song on the radio just yesterday  
The same one you always asked me to play  
and when the song as over   
I wished they'd played it again  
Yes I do think about you every now and then"  
  
  
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"Hey Harm?" I watched as she walked toward me with that look in her eyes. That pleading that she knew she could always get her way with.   
  
"Yes?" I look at her like I have no clue what she talking about. While my hands strum at my guitar.  
  
"I was wondering well since you got your guitar out would you mind doing something for me?"  
  
"What do you want me to do?" I ask playing along with her little game.   
  
"Play our song." And so I did. Until the last line that's when I jumped up and took her in my arms and tickled her till she begged for mercy.  
  
  
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"I love my life and I'd never trade  
Between what you and me had and the life I've made  
She's here and she's real, but you were too  
And every once in a while I think about you"  
  
I heard that song the other day, our song. I remembered every dance that we shared together from lonely bars, to NATO balls. Every dance I wished the song would just keep playing a minute longer so I could hold you in my arms. When I heard that song I just wished I could ask the DJ to play it over and over. It brought back some of the best memories I've had in my life.   
  
"I've been lyin' here all night listin' to the rain   
Talkin' to my heart and tryin' to explain  
Why sometimes I catch myself   
Wondering what might have been  
Yes I do think about you every now and then  
Every now and then  
Every now and then"  
  
Yet I love the life I've got now and I wouldn't trade it for the times we had. That was the past and this is now. I'm a different man. I enjoy being home every night being able to see every moment in my kids life. From Jessica's first ballet class, to Jacob's boy scout meetings. I love being there for each one of them and I love to see that look on their faces when they see me standing there, because so many other dads don't get to come. It's a great life and I still get to go out and hang out with my buddies like a used to, because the great thing about it is that my wife is one of the guys. We all hang out together.   
  
"Hey Harm, are you okay?" She asks coming into our personal study. I'm sitting here in my office chair starring at your picture while the rain comes beating down all around us. It's late I know and the kids have long since been in bed. I thought she was too.  
  
"Yeah why?" I look up for a second and see her there in one of my dress shirts. My guess is she had something special planned and I ruined it.   
  
"Well you said you'd be right up when I put the kids down. That was five hours ago. I was waiting for you when I fell asleep. I woke up awhile ago when I didn't feel you beside me."  
  
"Sorry I got caught up in the memories."   
  
That's when she notices the picture of you that I'm holding. It's of me, you, Luke, and Keeter. I remember we got my roommate Sturgis to take the picture. We were all so careless and happy. Thinking we were all going to be Admirals and they were going to be naming airports after me, Luke, and Keeter, and a ship after you. Hard to believe only me and Keeter are on our way to Admirals now.   
  
"I see. It's been a while since her death hasn't it?"  
  
"Too long. Sorry about this. Just today is the day she died and seeing the guys the other night didn't help much either."  
  
"Harm it's okay you don't have to apologize. I know how much Diane meant to you and in a way I have to thank her because without her you would be the man you are today and I love who you are."  
  
"I love you too, Sarah. Say why don't we go to bed now?" And with that I follow her as she leads me upstairs to our bedroom.   
  
So yes I do think about you every now and then.   
  
  
  
  
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! I"LL BEG IF I HAVE TO 


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